菲比的母乳喂养之旅Phoebes Journey

Susan Cooper

Albuquerque  NM  USA

From NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 23 No 4, July-August 2006, pp. 166-167.

浮生译，Shiuh-jane、Daisy审稿

When my son, Caleb, weaned at 15 months old, I had no idea that I would never conceive another child. How I regretted weaning him that early, because the years came and went, and there were no more children. After seven years of trying to conceive and all kinds of testing, surgery, and treatments, we found ourselves out of options for building our family the usual way. I had always been unwilling to consider adoption because I felt that my desires for another child were very much wrapped up in the physical aspects of childbearing: conceiving, giving birth, and breastfeeding. However, just as our hopes seemed to have died, I discovered that the long-carried burden of trying to conceive had been miraculously lifted, and that I wanted more than anything to adopt! Within a matter of weeks we had decided to adopt a child from China.

我的儿子凯莱布在15个月大的时候就断奶了。当时我并不知道自己无法再怀宝宝了。年复一年，我都没再有孩子，想想儿子断奶这么早，我的内心充满了遗憾。7年里，我和先生不断尝试怀孕，做各种各样的检查、手术和治疗，却发现无法用常规的方式建立我们的家庭。我过去一直都不愿意考虑领养孩子，因为我感觉自己渴望要另一个孩子，极大兴趣是在于生育的整个过程：怀孕、生产、母乳喂养。然而，当这个希望似乎破灭后，我发现长久以来尝试怀孕的压力反而奇迹般的消失了。我别无所求，只想要领养一个孩子。不到几个星期，我们就下决心从中国领养一个小孩。

In November 2003 we sent our adoption dossier off to China, requesting a baby girl. I knew that our daughter would most likely be about a year old when we adopted her. During our wait for her, I started researching adoptive breastfeeding. Our adoption agency recommended using attachment parenting strategies in order to foster a strong, healthy attachment, and I considered breastfeeding to be the ultimate attachment tool. I found that there was very little in print about adoptive breastfeeding, and virtually nothing regarding teaching an older infant or toddler to breastfeed. In fact, most books assumed or even stated outright that it was only possible to breastfeed a child adopted as a newborn, and even then they were discouraging about it.

2003年11月，我们把领养的资料寄到中国，要求要一个小女孩。我知道我们领养的女儿到时候很有可能有1岁大。我一边等待她的到来，一边开始研究领养孩子的母乳喂养。为了让领养幼儿与父母之间形成一种强烈而又健康的依恋关系，我们的领养中介机构推荐采取依恋抚养方式。我想母乳喂养是最有效的工具。我发现出版物里很少提及领养孩子的母乳喂养，几乎没有提到如何给大一点的婴幼儿母乳喂养。事实上，绝大多数书籍都认为，有些甚至是直接表明只有领养新生儿才有可能母乳，即便如此，母乳喂养也未必能够成功。

However, via the Internet I found people who had successfully taught toddlers to breastfeed. I learned that lactation is not just a postpartum event, but that actually all that is necessary is sufficient breast stimulation, and that, for example, in some cultures it is common for female relatives or friends to relactate in order to breastfeed a child who is separated from his/her mother due to work, political upheaval, or death. I also learned that the amount of milk I would produce would likely not be a big issue since our daughter would not be a young infant, but that the biggest challenge would be for her to give up her bottle nipple and learn to breastfeed, and that this process would probably take at least several months.

然而，在网上，我发现还是有妈妈教大一些的幼儿吃母乳的成功案例。我了解到哺乳不仅仅是产后事件，事实上所需要的只是足够的乳房刺激。在某些文化中，孩子因为妈妈工作需要、政治动乱或是死亡而被迫与之分离，他们的女性亲戚朋友会重新泌乳，给孩子哺乳。这种现象并不奇怪。我还了解到因为领养的孩子不是小宝宝，我产奶量的多少也不会是个大问题。但孩子面临最大的挑战是放弃人造乳头，学习吃母乳。这一过程可能要花上至少几个月。

Two months before we expected to meet our daughter, I began the process of relactation. I started taking medication and an herbal tincture to help with lactation, and began pumping with an electric double pump, starting with four times per day and quickly working up to six to seven times per day. Within three weeks I started expressing drops, and by six weeks I was producing more than an ounce per day, which I stored in the freezer for our daughter-to-be.

与女儿见面还有两个月，我开始了重新产奶的过程。我开始使用药物及一种草本酊剂帮助产奶，使用双头电动吸奶器吸奶，从最初每天4次，很快过渡到6至7次。不到3个星期，我的乳房就能分泌一滴一滴的乳汁；6个星期后，我每天的产奶量就超过了1盎司（注：约28毫升）。我把这些奶都存储在冰箱里，留给未来的女儿喝。

In July 2004 we traveled to China and met Phoebe for the first time. She was 10 and a half months at adoption, a tiny little person weighing only 13 pounds, seven ounces. Her bottle had a nipple with a huge cut in it through which she basically chewed out formula (or rice cereal mixed with formula, as is common there). Phoebe initially showed a strong preference for my husband and rejected me at first, but as I carried her in a sling, bathed with her, and was her primary caregiver as much as possible, she began to prefer me within a few weeks.

2004年7月，我和爱人来到中国，第一次见到了菲比。当时她10个半月，是个只有13磅7盎司（注：约6113克）的小家伙。她喝配方奶粉的奶嘴开口很大（除了喝纯奶粉外，还在奶粉里加米糊，这种做法在当地很普遍）。最初菲比很喜欢我先生，而排斥我。我把她放在背巾里带着她，和她一起洗澡，尽可能多的照顾她。不到几个星期，她喜欢上我了。

Breastfeeding involves an intimacy that requires a certain degree of trust and attachment between mother and child, and for the first several months, whenever I offered the breast, Phoebe refused. At that stage in our relationship, breastfeeding was too intimate for her to contemplate. Instead, as a first step, I fed her the bottle in a breastfeeding position, skin-to-skin. We were getting to know each other, and it was wonderful to see her open up more and more to us each day—her eyes starting to light up when she saw me or my husband, and to jump into our arms when we picked her up after a nap.

母乳喂养是一种亲密关系，需要妈妈和孩子之间存在某种程度的信任与依恋。开始几个月里，不管我什么时候喂菲比母乳，她总是不吃。在这个阶段，我们母女的关系没有达到那样的程度，母乳喂养对于她来说过于亲密而无法接受。我换了一种方式。首先，我采用了模拟母乳喂养的方式，即皮肤贴皮肤，来喂她奶瓶。我们渐渐熟悉对方。每天看着她越来越频繁的向我们张开小手，睡醒后抱起她时，看到我或者先生便眼睛一亮，投入我们的怀抱。那感觉真是棒极了。

My next strategy in working toward breastfeeding was to gradually transition Phoebe from a fast flow bottle nipple to a newborn, slow flow nipple so that the flow would be more similar to nursing. Then, after about four weeks, I filled her bottle nipple with milk, holding it over my breast, which she was willing to take on occasion during the first couple months.

向母乳喂养方向努力的下一个策略是把菲比的大流量奶嘴逐渐换成新生儿的小流量奶嘴，这样流量更接近母乳。大约4个星期后，我拿着装有母乳的奶嘴，放在自己的乳房上，她在开始的几个月里偶尔愿意接受乳房上的这个人工奶头。

Later on I tried a transitional technique that other adoptive moms had recommended: I threaded the tube of a supplemental nurser filled with my milk through a bottle nipple, again holding it over my breast. Using this was wonderful, as Phoebe was truly being fed at the breast, though via an artificial nipple. She “nursed” this way for six months as I continued to care for her in a way that would help build trust and the attachment relationship between us. I also showed her breastfeeding photos, video, and picture books, and attended La Leche League meetings so that she could see other children nursing in person.

后来，我又尝试了其他领养妈妈推荐的过渡技巧。我先在辅助喂奶器里装进自己的乳汁，然后把导管穿过奶嘴，奶嘴放在我的乳房上。这种方法很好。虽然借助人造的奶嘴，可菲比真正在乳房上吸吮了。这种“哺乳”方式持续了半年，在此期间我也以建立起母女之间的信任和依恋关系的方式持续地照顾她。我还给她看小孩子吃母乳的照片、录像、绘本，带她参加国际母乳会的聚会，让她亲眼看别的小孩吃奶的样子。

With an active almost-toddler, I was only able to manage pumping four times per day, but my milk output gradually increased to six or seven ounces per day over the course of a year (note: my current milk supply is probably greater than this, since suckling is better stimulation than pumping). I was so happy to be able to give Phoebe my milk via bottle, or later in the supplemental nurser or sippy cup, because I know that even a few ounces of human milk per day is beneficial, especially for building a child‘‘s immature immunities.

菲比是个好动的快要蹒跚学步的幼儿，我每天只能想办法吸4次奶。但是经过一年，我每天的产奶量逐渐增加到了6到7盎司（注：170-200毫升）。（作者注：目前我的奶水更能会更多，毕竟小孩的吸吮比吸奶器的刺激更大）我也很高兴能借助奶瓶，或是之后的辅助喂奶器、鸭嘴杯喂菲比母乳。因为我深知即使每天几盎司的人奶，对于建立小孩尚不成熟的免疫系统也是大有益处的。

Phoebe‘‘s willingness to take the breast began with touching her mouth to my breast, then playful one-second sucks, which increased in frequency. Seven months after her adoption was the first time she sucked more than once, and for comfort. The idea of nursing for comfort seemed to be an important component in her decision to begin breastfeeding, because almost every time she took the breast during her transition to full breastfeeding was for comfort, for instance when she had fallen or was tired and fussy.

菲比愿意吃我的奶是从小嘴触碰乳房开始的，然后玩耍式的吸吮一秒钟，之后越来越频繁。领养她7个月后，她为了寻求安慰，第一次不止一次吸吮我的乳头。这似乎是她决定吃我乳头的一个重要因素。每次从触碰乳房到真正吃母乳，她都是寻求安慰，比如当她摔倒了、累了或是烦躁的时候。

However, after I had been working with her for about eight months she went through five weeks of completely refusing the breast, which was very discouraging to me. I wondered if she was ever going to nurse, though I felt strongly that everything I had done toward breastfeeding had been of great benefit to her attachment process.

然而，当我花费了8个月时间想尽办法母乳喂养的时候，菲比有5个星期完全拒绝我的乳房，这对我可是个打击。虽然我强烈的感觉到自己为此所做的每一件事都有益于建立亲近依恋关系，但也曾怀疑她是否真的会吃母乳。

I was overjoyed when at 19 months of age she nursed for the first time while drifting off to sleep. A few weeks later she took the breast while awake, again for comfort. That was a big day for us! I encouraged her by smiling at her and saying things like, “Isn‘‘t Mommy‘‘s milk good?” How delightful when she nodded in response, grinning.

菲比19个月的时候，她第一次吃着我的奶睡着了。我欣喜若狂。几个星期以后，她睡醒的时候也会吃我的奶，还是为了安慰。这对我和先生来说都是不同寻常的一天。我鼓励的冲她微笑，问“妈妈的奶不是很好吃么？”她露齿笑着点点头回应。真令人开心！

Phoebe became a full-time breastfeeder nine months after her adoption on Mother‘‘s Day of this year (how appropriate!). She now nurses without a supplementer, usually three to five times per day. It is amazing to be able to share nursing with her—especially now that she is a busy toddler. It is so special to have those quiet, close times together each day.

领养菲比9个月了，在这一年的母亲节（多巧啊！），我实现了全程以乳房母乳喂养她。她现在每天吃3到5次母乳，不用借助辅助喂奶器了。她已经是一个闲不下来的姗姗学步的孩子，我还能母乳，太不可思议了。每天母女二人享受这些安静、亲密的时刻是多么奇特的事情啊。

Phoebe is about to turn three and is still going strong with nursing. I feel lucky to have such a surefire way of connecting with her each day, reinforcing our attachment as mother and daughter. I‘‘m hoping that these years of nursing together will have a big payoff in the future, when attachment issues resurface for many adopted children.

现在菲比快3岁了。她对母乳的需求还是很强烈。我感到如此幸运，这种方式是和她每天建立联系的最有效方式，能强化母女之间的依恋关系。许多领养儿童身上的依恋问题会在一段时间后浮出水面，我希望这些年的母乳喂养会在将来有好的回报。

Most people assume that breastfeeding is only for biological mothers; how wonderful to discover that, in fact, my body was designed to provide both sustenance and comfort for all of my children, whether biological or adopted, newborn or toddler. I‘‘m looking forward to many more happy months of nursing with Phoebe.

很多人都认为母乳喂养只适用于生物学意义上的妈妈，可事实证明，我的身体为两个孩子提供同样的营养和安慰，不管是亲生的，还是领养的；不论是新生儿，还是姗姗学步的小孩子。我期待着母乳喂养菲比的快乐时光更长一些。